Ash, 53

Ash was born somewhere, on January 22nd, 1969. He has all the ego and bad attitude of ab 80s rockstar but none of the talent.

He was part of an incipient garage band back in the day with some of his friends, they still talk about it as it had happened yesterday. After a failed attempt to become a streaming celeb with his friend Tray, he is back at his old job, working in a pub lazily and reluctantly serving drinks and playing music on the turntable.

He prides himself on not having played any record released after 1999, when music died and the world went to hell.